smth

You are my strongest dependence,
but sometimes it seems to me
that I lost my feeling.
Firstly I become relaxed with it - but in a minute
I am terrified and lost,
and have the sense again.
I am afraid of thought,
that when you disappear
I have nothing to hold me in my belief.
If it happens - smth will be crushed,
snth deep inside of me?
Also I have a sense of guilt.
Yeah, I know, but what can I do?
Sometime I have to choose.
Should I?